This week on “hold off, Is it a romantic date?” we are joined by Autostraddle President and
L Word
specialist
Riese Bernard
to discuss: The Chart. Yes it’s true! This episode is all about lesbian interconnectivity â starting up with friends’ exes, pals setting up with our exes, in addition to society developed by what drama.
Arrive for the gossip, stay the mental control. And before that enjoy a-game that examinations Christina’s boundaries: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she typically wouldn’t.)
Thank-you for the great comments after our very own premiere! For those who haven’t yet give consideration to providing us with a rating or evaluate!
SHOW NOTES
+ Five years ago Riese come up with an
Old Hollywood chart
that’s the intersection of all of the my personal passions.
+ Discover
the article
I reference in which I mention setting up with my roommates.
+ My crush with the few days Mj Rodriguez circulated a music video clip on her tune
“something you should Say”
!
+ As someone who has just viewed some episodes of
The Nanny
this montage
of Christina’s crush associated with the few days C.C. Babcock was surprising in my experience with regards to turned out she and Niles commonly both homosexual. (Christina informs me they generally however tend to be.)
Drew:
I might be extremely fine with it existing. I’d never include another person without their particular authorization. Nevertheless idea of everytime some body was actually like, “concur that you’re connected to myself,” I would wind up as, “Yeah, it is the existence I’ve lived. Really don’t worry about.” Is strange? Would be that difficulty?
Christina:
No, since if I happened to ben’t, I would feel terrible not. I might wind up as, “Wait, I am not sleeping?”
Theme track plays
Drew:
Hi, I’m Drew.
Christina:
Hi, I’m Christina.
Drew:
And welcome to
Wait, So Is This A Night Out Together?
Christina:
Hold Off, Is This A Date?
is actually an Autostraddle podcast asking the big concerns. To start with, could it possibly be a date? Exactly what are times? That times? Do we like dates? These represent the type concerns that we answer on this here very professional and lovely podcast.
Drew:
My name is Drew Gregory. I am an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, notoriously, a trans lesbian.
Christina:
I’m called Christina Tucker. I’m in addition a writer at Autostraddle. Im a loud queer on the net. I am recovering at explaining my self as a writer and, famously, a lesbian. That is you. That is exactly who we’re.
Drew:
Yeah. So our very own main subject this week may be the Chart.
Christina:
I recently thought it needed a sting. I am not sure. That believed really dramatic, but I think it required it.
Drew:
Yes. No, please, please, please. Many thanks, thank you so much. No, no, no. The most suitable number of drama.
Christina:
Thank you.
Drew:
Yeah. So we’re talking about lesbian interconnectivity.
Christina:
I like that term given that it appears like you’ll want to resume the lesbians. It may sound like internet access isn’t really functioning.
Drew:
Yes. it is extremely advanced level, extremely futuristic, but additionally has been in existence since there’s been lesbians, In my opinion.
Christina:
Yeah. In my opinion scholars will say after they found the initial lesbian fossils, they found an information alongside of those carved into the mud. And I believe that’s just what that movie concerns, proper? It is more about the data? That film with Kate Winslet together with sand fossils?
Drew:
Ammonite?
Christina:
Yeah, that is what it’s about.
Drew:
I wish
Ammonite
involved cavern ladies. I would view that lesbian motion picture.
Christina:
Well, when I have not observed it, i will fearlessly point out that it absolutely was. Cool.
Drew:
Yeah. Since it is like we’ve got so many lesbian duration pieces, but we’ve never gone straight back that far. And I believe it’s time we would.
Christina:
Let us merely hold taking it furthermore back in its history.
Drew:
Before we get to our main subject, you’re however getting to know all of us. And I thought that it would be fun to relax and play a game title the place you dudes could actually learn Christina. Thus the icebreaker for this few days is actually a little online game that we call “Would U-Haul.”
Christina:
I will be, once more, so pressured concerning this. This may you need to be the way in which I come inside game. This might be my video game mindset, only a little high-key, only a little stressed. That is okay. We’re all reading.
Drew:
I do believe that’s fantastic. I believe which will make you more vulnerable, possibly.
Christina:
Among the best thoughts.
Drew:
Simply a terror, only a serious terror. So the method in which “Would U-Haul” really works is i’ll describe a scenario. Let us call-it Christina enthusiast fiction. And I’m attending pause after each and every little section to-be want, “Okay, Christina, I’m sure which you have never lived with somebody, do not want to accept somebody. But under these situations, would U-Haul?”
Christina:
And that I will both state yes or we’ll say, “i am ready.”
Drew:
If you do not â well, we’re going to see here. But I’m thrilled. I think I’ve perhaps cracked the code.
Christina:
You’ve damaged the code? I’m thrilled.
Drew:
Let us see how very long this requires. And if there is a constant do, i believe you win? I am not sure exactly how you can find winners here.
Christina:
I am not sure there exists champions in the game of U-Hauling.
Drew:
Well, I’m not sure in the event that you’ll go along with that following this. And so I’m going to get going.
Christina:
Reasonable adequate.
Drew:
Okay. So, Christina.
Christina:
Drew.
Drew:
You’re at the pal’s wedding ceremony. Inspite of the large number of romcoms you consumed, you did maybe not choose this marriage considering you would satisfy anyone because, well, this is simply not a romcom. This is the genuine and typical lifetime of Christina Grace Tucker. You adopt your own designated seat consequently they are glancing at the cellphone whenever you recognize a female at your dining table wants at you. She presents herself as your pal’s former baby-sitter. She actually is remained a friend regarding the family members, but she doesn’t truly know anyone there. She seems like mid-forties and has a striking angular face. You begin talking. She offers to provide a drink. So when she compares, you realize she is six legs large, 6â² 3â³ in pumps. So that you understand what? I’m just attending stop there and get want, at this stage, would U-Haul?
Christina:
I am intrigued. I am captivated because i would get set during that wedding ceremony. But yet I am not U-Hauling anyplace.
Drew:
Cool. Which is entirely fair. Totally fair. Okay. You spend whole wedding getting to know each other. Absolutely merely an instantaneous spark and immediate biochemistry. And certainly, you are doing connect and also the gender is actually remarkable.
Christina:
Tight.
Drew:
And thus this marriage was a student in Northern California. And so you both expand the remains for a few days to screw and explore and eat at restaurants and shag. While supply to divide the cost of the now joint room, but she laughs you down and is similar, “clearly maybe not, honey.” And so the after that three days tend to be miracle. You really feel the wall space tumbling down. You’re dropping quicker than you ever before have. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Thus just for understanding’s sake, i am having a hard time picturing a global by which we got three shock times away from try to hang out with people i really do maybe not understand. That seems bonkers. However if i did so, good-for myself. But i am simply not U-Hauling at this point. It will be a no.
Drew:
Great. Okay. That’s great. You just met. I get it. I get it. Okay.
Christina:
Thank you so much really.
Drew:
So she returns to nyc therefore go back to Philadelphia.
Christina:
This is where We stay.
Drew:
And you are texting on a regular basis. This is where you live and it’s really where this girl resides. And you are texting constantly while see both several times monthly. She is really hectic together with her work, but she’s rapid to purchase you a train solution so you’re able to arrive see this lady and remain at the woman beautiful brownstone in Fort Greene. Following half a year pass. And something night when you’re over to dinner, she requires that move in together with her. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
And move to Ny? I do not really like New York. No, I am not transferring from the 6 months tag. I’m not performing that, no.
Drew:
Okay, okay. Completely, entirely, totally. Wow. Okay. So that you hold online dating long-distance. She knows that you’ll need some time and this woman is prepared to watch for you. Some more months move. It is now been over a-year. Your property manager lets you know that they’re offering your home to a developer who’s putting in condos, so you are unable to restore it. You will need to discover a brand new place. Your own now girlfriend lets you know that no stress, but the woman offer however stands. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Okay. At this time, I would U-Haul for 2 reasons.
Drew:
Yay! Fine. Please reveal.
Christina:
Largely, in a world which my personal property owner offered my house to build up it, my property owner is currently my personal companion, making sure that seems like one thing went incorrect within relationship. And I should simply keep Philadelphia in any event. Of course I have to go in using my sweetheart over here, that looks good. That’s good. Entirely fine. But yeah, In my opinion i would require an external force like a mean property manager.
Drew:
That’s thus â fine. I did so think that might must require property attain truth be told there, and so I’m happy We understood that.
Christina:
Yeah. Which is just what actually has got to happen to myself first.
Drew:
Really, I’m glad to understand what it does take. Therefore in theory, if perhaps you weren’t knocked away, simply how much longer?
Christina:
In all honesty, which could have gone on for some time. Philly and ny are not also that definately not both. I obtained area over right here. We’re moving forward and backward. We are having fun. I could have let that roll for quite some time until i suppose Shoshana turns into the worst person I know.
Drew:
I didn’t realize Shoshana had your own home. Well, there you go.
Christina:
There we go. Wow, which was thrilling.
Drew:
Well, many thanks for playing.
Christina:
I’m stressed, is obvious.
Drew:
And I’m pleased that I’m sure⦠perhaps in case you are previously, so if anyone’s ever online dating you and wants you to relocate, maybe your girl informed Shoshana to offer your house in the interest of the relationship.
Christina:
Genuinely the quickest way â somebody would simply have to consult with Shoshana and stay love, “only kick their aside.” Immediately after which she’d resemble, “Yeah, positive. However.” That would be the way it took place, though she don’t sell your house. Some body would you should be like, “Could you just stop this lady out thus she will simply conquer it and move in beside me?” And she would state yes. A hundred percent she’d do that. That’s what friendship is actually.
Drew:
I love that.
Christina:
Yeah, that’s truly gorgeous.
Drew:
Well, i’m like we discovered many about you.
Christina:
Cheers. I feel like I discovered lots about myself personally, too. Danger of homelessness is actually the thing that helps to keep me transferring any circumstance, I guess. Wow.
Drew:
Well, which is great.
Christina:
Which was actually exciting. I’m just as delighted to go into the major phase because i believe referring to lesbian connectivity with this specific guest, with this specific special guest, i do believe it will likely be incredible, Drew. Just how will you be feeling?
Drew:
I am very excited. It is a specialist. And by that, I mean an
L Term
specialist, and a little bit of a specialist from inside the subject in front of you.
Christina:
In my opinion a couple of things can be true, my pal. I think a couple of things are true without a doubt. Can we wish present our very own visitor or will we desire all of our guest introducing on their own?
Drew:
I’d love the guest to introduce by herself.
Christina:
Guest.
Drew:
I will point out that all of our visitor is the one and only Riese Bernard.
Christina:
Guest, speak.
Riese:
Hi, I’m Riese. As well as being strange become the visitor!
Christina:
Yeah, it’s.
Riese:
I experienced not to state any such thing. I didn’t also get it done. Used to do say situations. I got to sit down here silently.
Christina:
And also you happened to be actually courageous. Along with your confronts were valued.
Riese:
Many thanks so much.
Christina:
Though it is obviously an audio average, i’d like our listeners to find out that Riese ended up being producing some very nice effect faces during “Would U-Haul.”
Riese:
There’s many ways getting heard. Do you know what i am talking about? That’s what i usually say. I will be the CEO of Autostraddle.com. And I also’m additionally on an undefeated kickball staff. And that’s me. I’ve your pet dog known as Carol. And I have actually dated people.
Christina:
Congrats about kickball!
Riese:
Thank-you. I am a part of people.
Christina:
Great. Adoring that. That is great to bring to the, this right here online dating podcast. Which is great.
Riese:
Yeah. In my opinion that⦠will there be whatever else?
Drew:
No, i believe that’s great, Riese.
Christina:
What you may should discuss.
Riese:
I really like raspberries, the fresh fruit raspberries, and private pools.
Christina:
As opposed toâ¦
Riese:
You Realize an individual goes likeâ¦
Drew:
It is like whenever you strike. Yeah.
Christina:
Oh. Those tend to be terrible, so I simply just exhausted them from my brain.
Riese:
Yeah. And that is all.
Christina:
Great.
Drew:
Well, I straight away thought of you with this subject.
Christina:
That is true.
Drew:
Because first, clearly, queer ladies and non-binary people in lesbian society being like, I’m not sure, making love with individuals exactly who people they know had intercourse with since long before
The L Word
had been ever before a series. But I do feel like
The L Term
solidified a certain social idea of the information with Alice Pieszecki. And so I decided you’ll have lots of insight into this subject.
Riese:
It really is genuine. Two of the article writers, I want to say, of
The L Word
had this real data of them as well as their pals these were drawing about wall structure or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, I think, was actually one of them. She chatted to united states about any of it, they had built this. Because certainly, every person where blogger’s place had fucked people from inside the publisher â you know, while the extended web of that generation of lesbians in Los Angeles. And so they noticed can these were like, “Let’s place it for the program.” And some of these take the chart. Like, some people whom ⦠like, actual individuals are from the chart as a joke.
Christina:
That’s incredible. That is the manner in which you know you have made it.
Riese:
Isn’t that sweet?
Christina:
That could be exciting personally.
Riese:
And therefore when you haven’t viewed
The L Keyword,
firstly, congrats. Secondly, it will become the centerpiece of 1 of our own lead personality, Alice’s, apartment. She’s it all over her wall surface. Plus it may be the name of an internet site . that they started called ourchart.com that flopped. While the idea ⦠And it’s when you look at the pilot, i believe. Inside first episode, Alice begins discussing just how everybody’s linked, because everyone’s connected because of this person. And I can link you, like you’re most likely at the most two levels far from me personally. And therefore was genuine. Like, despite Dana, who’d very limited knowledge because she was a closeted tennis member, they nonetheless managed to connect her. That is certainly true to life because it’s real.
Christina:
That’s culture. Yeah. That’s what culture seems like.
Riese:
Which is society. That’s queer tradition right there. And from now on everyone can make their charts.
Christina:
Yeah. So that was going to be my personal subsequent concern, ended up being have actually either people made a chart? Because I don’t believe You will find, and I am kind of now considering like, what was this just last year seated inside my home for basically failed to generate a chart? Like, what was the purpose of that, truly?
Riese:
I believe I completed it in my journal, in the same way like ⦠Because I really like, I don’t know, organizing details, i suppose, as an idea physical exercise.
Christina:
Yeah, i believe that is additionally why Im surprised that We haven’t completed it. I really like the idea of categorizing situations.
Riese:
Right. Yeah. Since it is fascinating. I’m not sure the reason why it is very fascinating, but it’s. It is fascinating getting like, wow, all of these men and women, they truly are connected. Its wild.
Drew:
On the tv series, when ourchart.com is actually devised, they usually have a genuine chart that folks can add stuff. And I feel something that you joked about on
To L and Straight Back,
now individuals state all the time is like, if this existed in a genuine means, no-one would place their particular names onto it, no one would feel comfortable putting their particular brands onto it.
Riese:
You’ll.
Drew:
I’d. I’d be extremely good along with it existing. I might never ever include someone else without their unique authorization. Although concept of similar, everytime somebody had been like, “concur that you are attached to myself,” I would wind up as, “Yeah, it is the existence i have lived. I do not mind.” Is the fact that weird? Usually problematic?
Christina:
No, as if I happened to ben’t, i’d feel bad not being ⦠I would personally wind up as, “hold off, I am not on it? Like, i am sorry, exactly what?” No, that would really deliver me into a light moral panic about who i’m as someone, everything I’m doing. Are we interesting? Carry out individuals {like
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